Trying to figure out how to model the child custody relationship between you and your ex can be challenging, especially in the early days after the divorce. One of the most important things that you need to do right away is to set your mind to work with your ex. You might be on opposite sides of the table for the divorce, but you must be on the same team for the children. Making this distinction can be difficult, but it can help to smooth the situation over so that your children can benefit from a solid parenting relationship.
When you put the children first, things might start to fall into place easier. You won't be so focused on making your life easier or getting back at your ex for the divorce. Your children benefit by getting a parenting time schedule that enables them to thrive, and they can rest assured that their parents are making decisions based on what the children need.
Even if you decide to co-parent, there is still a fine line of division between homes. As hard as it is for you to accept, take the time to close your emotional tie to your ex. Don't try to question the children about what your ex is doing or how things are going there. Instead, just pay attention to the things your child does share with you and help them to have an enjoyable childhood.
Consistency can help children considerably. When you and your ex are working together, you can provide this as long as you keep the lines of communication open. Always speak directly to your ex and avoid trying to pass messages through the children. Additionally, be sure that you have a parenting plan that outlines at least the basics of how child custody will be handled.